Possibly the Greatest Pumpkin Oatmeal Recipe in Human History

Possibly the Greatest Pumpkin Oatmeal Recipe in Human History

Jamie Metzl

After years of experimentation, I believe I have come up with the greatest pumpkin oatmeal recipe ever. Once you’ve assembled the ingredients and placed them strategically in your kitchen, total preparation time is under five minutes. It’s so delicious, nutritious, fast, and simple that I felt I would be betraying my friends by not sharing the recipe. So here it is.

Jamie’s Quick and Easy Best Oatmeal Flax Pumpkin Oatmeal Ever (J-BOFPOE is you need an acronym)


  • ½ cup quick cooking oats (like Bob’s Red Mill)
  • 1/3 cup water
  • 1/3 cup almond milk
  • 1/3 cup soy milk
  • 1 teaspoon ground flax seeds
  • 1 teaspoon chia seeds
  • pinch of cinnamon
  • pinch of sea salt
  • some raisins
  • some blanched hazelnuts
  • some almonds or almond slices (unsalted)
  • heaping tablespoon of pumpkin pie mix (like Libby’s from a can)
  • honey to taste

Directions: All of the ingredients are fungible, but the key thing is to make sure there is roughly a 2:1 ration between liquid and oatmeal. All you have to do is place all of the ingredients below in a bowl, put the bowl in the microwave on high for two minutes, stir, then cook for 30 more seconds.